


How Not to Secure a Hostage

by Rhino (RhinoMouse)



Series: Random Unconnected AOS Oneshots [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Attempt at Humor, Bodyswap, Daisy is Having a Very Weird Morning, F/M, Hostage Escapes Is Not One, It Is One of Daisy's Though, Reid Has Many Strengths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26841244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhinoMouse/pseuds/Rhino
Summary: Spencer was fairly sure he'd prepared for all the eventualities possible. He really hadn't. Daisy was just taking a nap on Zephyr One and enjoying her intergalactic manhunt for Fitz. So really neither of them were expecting to wake up in the other one's shoes.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Skye | Daisy Johnson
Series: Random Unconnected AOS Oneshots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134464
Comments: 27
Kudos: 257





	How Not to Secure a Hostage

**Author's Note:**

> Not my usual but this one made me laugh so I figured I'd post it.

Reid had always imagined what the moment would be like when he’d switch with his soulmate for the first time. It was always in a moment of need. He’d assumed she, and he was fairly certain it would be a woman, would need his assistance on an exam. Or maybe she’d be at a trivia night, he was very good at trivia afterall. Because everyone always had their first switch when one half of a pair needed the other. Sometimes it was as simple as your soulmate needing help making dinner. Or beating a level of a video game. But as he got older he wondered if what she? would need would be a bit different. 

Maybe he’d be like Morgan and be the one who needed help. Morgan had switched with Garcia when they’d needed access to an usub’s laptop. Which seeing Morgan suddenly acting like Garcia had been bizarre. The groveling Morgan had had to do for face planting while in Garcia’s shoes had been deeply gratifying. 

There was no way to know. So Spencer did what he did best. He prepared. In his wallet he always kept a carefully folded piece of paper with a polite request for his soulmates name and phone number. Then he also learned anything he thought might be useful. Which turned into a career with the BAU. He would later realize he’d completely failed to account for what he might need from a soulmate. This was...a great oversight in retrospect. 

Reid came round slowly as his mind surfaced from the haze of the drugs. The first thing he realized was he wasn't in the wood cabin the unsub had brought him to. And then he registered several things all at once. He wasn't in pain, which he should be considering the beating he'd been given. His mind was clear, no drugs. He was on something soft. And oh god. 

He sat up and looked around, his neck popping from the sudden move. The room was metal, a bunk on a ship maybe? It was small, but there were personal effects. A small desk set into one wall with a laptop on it. The small hula girl hood ornament. He saw the combat jacket hanging on the chair. 

Reid breathed in and looked down at himself. And yup he was very much a she right now. Thank goodness his soulmate wore pajamas. She was wearing a plain tank top and loose flannel pants. Now that he thought about it he could feel long hair brushing his bare shoulders.

He slowly stepped out of bed and looked around, the metal floor cold beneath his feet. This was a berth of some sort. The size, the way the ceiling curved. Opening the small closet set into the wall he looked at the clothing. It was simple, practical, and vaguely military. There were a few flannel shirts, two pairs of jeans, and a dress. But the rest was tactical or work out gear. 

Reid closed the closet and opened the one next to it. His mind already whirring as he profiled his soulmate stilled. He sucked in a startled breath. It was all weapons. There was a sniper's rifle carefully resting there. But there were also five different handguns, a set of metal gauntlets, several throwing knives, spooled wire, and all the supplies necessary to perform upkeep on the small arsenal. 

He swallowed. This all said mercenary, highly skilled. He shut the door and looked around the small berth. Officer, definitely someone important in the chain of command to rank their own berth on a ship. Lack of personal items, and what were there gave little away. Paranoid then, prepared to leave on short notice. Likely highly skilled. He needed to find someone else and advise them of the situation. If an alarm came he wasn't in a position to assist. He looked at the pajamas… he was not going to disrobe his soulmate. 

Nodding to himself he secured socks and a pair of boots. He then pulled on the tactical jacket. Perhaps not ideal, but perfectly appropriate for the situation. He opened the narrow door and stepped into the hallway. Still no natural light, a submarine maybe? But that didn't make sense. He didn't know of a mercenary group with that type of equipment.

A woman with neatly pulled back copper hair in similar paramilitary garb exited one of the berths. She frowned slightly as she took in Reid. "Daisy? Are you alright?"

"Hello, my name is Spencer Reid and I believe I'm experiencing a soul switch with uh… Daisy?" He pointed at his chest.

The woman blinked owlishly. "That… where is your body right now?"

Reid's eyes widened in horror. "Oh god, I was kidnapped by the unsub! Nonononononono, this can't be happening. He could kill her! This is very very bad."

"Breathe." The woman commanded. Her face was empathetic but on task. "Were you restrained?"

He nodded, responding to the command in the woman's voice. "Handcuffed, he'd drugged me but it was wearing off."

"How much training does your kidnapper have? And how many are there?" Her voice was sharp but not cruel.

Reid's fingers jittered but he answered. “One, but he’s a sadist and a serial killer.”

“But no formal training, and she’s only got a pair of handcuffs on?” The woman double checked. 

He stilled. “Please, we need to call my team. If we can locate his cabin fast enough they might be able to get there in time!” 

“Daisy will be fine.” The woman brushed off, the tension in her shoulders relaxing. “A run of the mill serial killer stupid enough to only bother with a single pair of handcuffs won’t last twenty seconds against her.” 

Reid blinked. “Shouldn’t you be more alarmed? We need to save her!” 

“Soul switches occur when one half of a pair requires assistance their match can provide. And we’re not due to arrive anywhere for another thirty six hours.” The woman’s eyes were bright as she laughed at the look on his face. “Believe me, Daisy can handle herself.” 

And well..that was perfectly logical. But it left him feeling flat footed. “So you’re a para military mercenary group then?” 

“Uh… you know technically we’re pirates.” The woman seemed surprisingly bashful as she said that. “But you two should have long since switched back before we shake up and rob our next destination.” 

////

JJ was still jittery, the worry eating at her. So when Morgan started yelling for them to get into the computer room she jumped. Still, she moved quickly. As she came to a halt looking at the computers she pressed a hand to her chest. It was Spencer. Or well video of him on the screens. She heard a rushing sound as she took in her friend and partner. Who she should have kept safe. 

He had been beaten. Spencer was sitting on a chair, hands cuffed. He looked like he was slowly coming back to consciousness. And god that was dried blood down one side of his face. They shouldn’t have split up. She shouldn’t have frozen after the dogs. She could feel and hear the desperation as she turned to Garcia. “Can’t you track him?” 

“Hankel’s only streaming this to his home computer.” Garcia gestured at the unsub’s set up they were using. Her tone was enough to say no, no she couldn’t track him. 

Gideon pronounced the situation. “This is for us. He knows we’re here.” 

JJ didn’t take in the rest, Morgan’s upset, or Garcia explaining why she couldn’t backtrack the unsub. Her hand pressed to the base of her neck as she watched. Because she couldn’t do anything. And then they heard Hankel’s voice, or from his tone it wasn’t that personality in control right now. 

-”Can you really see inside men’s minds? See these vermin? Choose one to die and I’ll let you choose one to live.”-

But then Spencer didn’t flinch. He blinked slowly, and his posture remained loose. -“That answers the question of whether this was some sort of weird sex thing I guess.”- 

JJ sucked in a breath. “That’s not Spencer.” 

“What? But..” Morgan started. 

JJ knew she wasn’t wrong though. And there was only one reason for Spencer to be showing a different personality. “That’s his soulmate.”

Henkel seemed to recover from what had to be an unexpected response. -”I thought you wanted to be some sort of savior? But you would bring even more sin into this?”-

-”Oh so you’re completely cuckoo.”- Spencer’s head leaned back with a sort of arrogant confidence that was foreign to see on him. -”Good to know. So who the fuck are you? Cause this setup seems kind of sloppy. What are you some sort of amature?”-

-”You are not the one who was here before.”- Henkel’s voice evened out. -”I see even his soul’s match is contaminated by sin. Confess to your sin so that you may be judged.”-

Spencer’s face was filled with disbelief, though the confidence didn’t fade. -“You’re serious? Well golly jee which of the ten commandments haven’t I broken? You want to hear about the people I’ve fucked? The lies I’ve told? The people I’ve killed? Or should we talk about the theft, disrespect and all that.”-

-”You would spit upon the Lord?”- And oh that was rage. 

Morgan’s teeth clenched as he half vibrated as they were forced to watch this. “What is she doing? She’s going to set him off!” 

“I think she knows that.” Emily replied, her eyes narrowed. 

JJ just felt sick. Because this was spinning out of control, it had been since she and Spencer had first knocked on Henkel’s door. 

Spencer’s body grinned, his teeth showing. -”Didn’t you get the memo, the gods are aliens.”-

Henkel half growled, and then he strode into frame, his arm swinging. There was a sick sound as he backhanded Spencer across the face. -”You will not defame the Lord!”-

-”You’re not that smart. Didn’t anyone ever tell you you’re not supposed to get close to your prisoner if they’re not attached to anything?”- And then Spencer’s body moved. 

Spencer hooked a leg through Henkel’s and then yanked. Henkel went crashing down on his back, Spencer already out of the chair, he grabbed it with his still cuffed hands, swinging the chair above his head and then brought it crashing down straight for Henkel’s head. 

Spencer yelped as he put weight on his bare foot. Henkle was up on his feet and bum rushed him. The two of them went crashing across the room. Spencer twisted like an eel, using his cuffed arms to hook Henkel around the throat and then they were hitting the floor. And Spencer was choking Henkel. 

Henkel rolled, trying to get away, and then Spencer twisted hard and there was an audible popping sound. Henkel dropped like a stone. He didn’t move again. 

Spencer untangled himself. He immediately started rooting through Henkel’s pockets before sitting back on his heels. -”Of course he doesn’t have the key.”- 

Spencer gingerly got to his feet. He started rooting through drawers. His nose wrinkled in disgust, eyes turning to the oven. -”Oh goody, crazy kidnapper was cooking organs. That’s a good sign.”- He finally pulled out a needle with a sound of victory. Thirty seconds later he’d picked the lock on the cuffs. 

He limped slightly as he moved towards the camera. And then the video cut out. 

“Can you get it back?” Hotch half demanded of Garcia. 

Garcia was clearly doing something. “No, the camera was turned off manually. I can’t turn it back on.” 

“Spencer just snapped Hankel’s neck.” JJ swallowed. “We all just saw that right?” 

Emily touched her arm. “His soulmatch is clearly combat trained.” 

“Wait!” Garcia’s voice pitched up. “I can track him! The security protocols were just turned off. He’s in a hunting cabin! The address is on your phones, go!” 

JJ rushed out of the SUV, the vehicle not even stopping before she was out of it. Morgan was right behind her. Clearing the cabin took a minute. She holstered her gun. No Reid, whoever was in control of him had clearly booked it out of here. Not that she could blame them. Her eyes tracked to Henkel’s corpse. “His shoes are gone.” 

“And I’m not seeing a gun, hunting knife, nothing here.” Morgan hissed as he found Spencer’s shoes. “I think whoever is in control right now bugged out as soon as that camera went off.” 

Hotch’s face was grim. “But bugged out to where?” 

“Well we know that whoever it is woke up beaten, in a cabin with a sadistic serial killer, and their first reaction was to lure the threat close enough they’d have the advantage in a fight.” Emily spoke up. “That’s pretty cool under pressure. They didn’t call the police, just disabled the recording equipment, put on shoes suited for the countryside, armed themselves and then left. That says special ops to me.” 

Morgan nodded tightly. “Spencer was hurt, possible head injury. For someone like that to show pain like he did when he put weight on Spencer’s left foot means broken bones. Switches happen when one half can help the other.” 

“You think he’ll make his way to a hospital?” Hotch managed to frown even deeper. “Why not hotwire the truck then?” 

“There might have been another vehicle.” JJ stepped out of the cabin. There might be signs of another vehicle they’d missed. She was barely out of the door when she was grabbed. 

JJ bit back her instinct to call for the team. There was a very sharp knife pressed to her throat. And her right hand was twisted up behind her back. She hissed.

“Easy.” Spencer’s voice came, but it definitely wasn’t him speaking. “I have some questions that need answering.” He pulled her back from the door. 

JJ was tense as she let herself be directed backwards. Whoever was in control of Spencer was controlled, calm, and clearly had planned this. “What do you want to know?” 

“Who are you?” Spencer’s voice was cold and clear in a way that was disturbingly unfamiliar. 

She just had to keep him busy till the team realized she wasn’t coming back in. That or the local’s got here. Five minutes at the most. “My name is Jennifer Jerue and I’m the media liaison for the BAU with the FBI. And right now you are in the body of Dr Spencer Reid.” 

“A doctor agent?” Spencer huffed in amusement. “Alright, then Agent. Thoughts on nazis?” 

JJ blinked, that was...an unexpected turn. One she was sure one of the others would likely find far more useful than she was. “Bad.” 

“Hydra?” He asked again. 

JJ felt the thumb on her wrist, he was feeling her pulse. “Bad. The team assisted in profiles of several wanted Hydra agents.” 

And then she was gently shoved forward, the knife and vice like grip gone as quickly as it’d come. “Sorry, I needed to be sure.” 

JJ took in Spencer while rubbing at her wrist. “GUYS!” She hadn’t known Spencer could look that dangerous. But he did. There was a shovel slung over one shoulder, hunting knife strapped to one thigh. His weight was on one leg, but his eyes were sharp. 

She stood still, not drawing her weapon, as the team thundered out of the cabin. Instead she cleared her throat. “Why did you think we were Hydra?” 

“There was a camera recording and live streaming him being tortured and likely murdered.” Spencer’s eyes narrowed. “I assumed a creepy snuff film group, but then you showed up in government SUVs. Which means the cavalry here to save him, or Hydra.” 

Hotch’s hand twitched towards his gun. “You’ve saved Reid, you can switch back now.” 

“Not yet.” Spencer’s chin tipped up slightly. “His foot is fucked. They’ll have to fix it without anesthetic with the drugs in his system right now.” 

Morgan spoke up, while taking a step closer. “And if we’d been Hydra?” 

“You wouldn’t still be breathing.” Spencer replied with a slight shrug. “So about a hospital, cause his foot really is fucked.” 

////

Spencer was playing some kind of alien chess one minute and the next he was in a hospital bed. He winced. “Ow.” 

“You’re back!” Garcia grabbed his hand and half glomped him, kissing his cheek. “Boy Wonder you scared us half to death!” 

“Henkel?” He asked, looking at Hotch over Garcia’s shoulder. 

Hotch looked relieved, but solomon as he spoke. “He’s dead.”

“Your soulmate is terrifying kid.” Morgan cut in with a huff. “Didn’t even twitch when they reset your foot.” 

He considered that. “That makes sense. She’s a former high level SHIELD operative and is currently ‘officially’ leader of a rogue group of intergalactic pirates. I wasn’t able to ascertain much as the crew was very careful in their wording. But I believe she and the crew are still reporting to SHIELD.” 

“That certainly puts the hydra questions in perspective.” Emily relaxed. 

Morgan’s head snapped to his field partner. “That’s the part you focused on? What about the intergalactic part?” 

“It seemed the most striking from her behavior.” Emily shrugged, she smiled at Spencer. “Congratulations on your switch.” 

Reid beamed. “Dr Simmons assured me their ship is due to return earth side in six months.” 

“I’m both eager and terrified to meet this woman.” Morgan laughed. 

JJ elbowed Morgan. “I don’t know, but anyone who insists on taking the pain from bones being reset to help you is good in my books.” 

“She shouldn’t have done that.” Spencer winced. “I mean Dr Simmons was very sure Daisy would be more than able to handle a serial killer. But she didn’t have to do that!” 

Garcia patted his shoulder. “She demanded it at knife point. We’re half here to make sure she didn’t try to abduct a nurse at knife point. I don’t think you’re going to win that argument.” 

“Oh.” And well, wasn’t that kind of flattering? 

Garcia turned to face the room. “And speaking of, you all owe me. I said our Boy Wonder’s soulmate would be beyond our imaginations. Pay up.”


End file.
